Frica de a fi femeie (The fear being a women)

       De ani de zile, prin metode diferite, incercam sa ne identificam adevaratul Sine. Pentru femei procesul presupune 2 etape.  Este necesar intai sa isi accepte feminitatea. Sa vindece frica de a fi femeie.

      Prin acest video invatati cum sa faceti asta.

       Aveti mai jos traducerea in engleza a video-ului.


We have been trying for years and through different methods to identify our true Self.

For women, this process entails 2 stages. Firstly, they need to accept their feminity. They need to cure the fear of being a women.
With this video you will learn how to do this. Below you have the english translation of the video.

This is a transcript of a live session of therapy with Iolanda in March of 2014. You can play the video as well while you use the technique presented below. 

Part 1 Introduction

Iolanda: - I can take things in order and say to God .. I don t know.. just to explain, I speak in a very practical manner to God, the same way I would speak to any other physical being. For example: „God I did this or I would want this” or „tomorrow I have to speak in front of some people but am I capable of this? What will I say to them? And especially how will I concentrate the information I have in my mental library?”.  Usually the answer comes in the form of intuition and this time I asked “God, what am I offering to these people?”. I was asking that because previously when I was doing my meetings in the church I would be able to offer people something when they left, but here in this context what can I offer people I wondered. And the answer I received from inside was “knowledge”. Ok. So it doesn’t have to be something physical, it’s not a cake, it is not money, it is not a present, it’s knowledge. Ok. But this means I have to help you to find the answers within yourself. This is the meaning of knowledge. If some of us knocked on this door before in order to receive knowledge or if some of us did not even understand that the door or the possibility of knocking existed, that is not the issue here. This door, this path to knowledge exists anyway in our soul. And exactly because we would not open this door, fear sets in. The first fear that I cured myself of was – and you will understand why it is so powerful when we take into account the uncertain times we live in – the fear of losing my job. “Who would hire me at 48 (my age then)? What would I do? After I did only one thing for 24 years? Where would I go?”. Think about it for just a second, just close your eyes and really think this: “Tomorrow I will be unemployed. I will lose my job.” What do you feel? What does your inside tell you when you feed it this information? I would like to hear from the people here. Audience member 1: - Great insecurity.

Iolanda: - Great insecurity! So you are not at ease! Your heart is racing, a natural reaction of the body. And that is all due to one thought, you lived the emotion only for a few seconds and you were scared. The moment I thought “Ok, I will lose my job at 48 years of age, what would I do?” I said to myself “I lost my job at 48! So what?”. Because it is only my emotion at play, it is not a real fact. It was not easy though. I had heart palpitations; I felt my heart will rip open my chest cavity. I did what we call emotion freedom technique (EFT), with this specific fear, of losing my job and in reality my mind become tranquil because that energy had disintegrated, this fear was only in my mind and my heart, it was nothing real. But it is true I will never have to live this fear because now, after this technique, this print is no longer in me. There is someone else in this audience that I had to say this to “Imagine you would lose your job”! Their answer was “But what will I do then?”. And my reply was “Don’t think about what you will do! Just accept that you will lose your job! ”. The same way one could accept that their significant other might leave them. And what happens then? Does the sun stop rising every morning? No. Your life ends? No. There is no more day and night? No. It will never snow or rain again? No. So then, where do this terror and this tight grip comes from? From the fact that someone leaves me? But is this person a part of me? No. He/she stands next to me. When I think of something/someone as being MINE, and ah, this expression, that is so used in every language, but I hear it especially with Romanian women “Mine won’t do that/Mine this or mine that”. Is that so? Since when has that person become your possession? You can maybe say for some time about your child that it is yours, because for some time you’ve been home for them, but the man/woman next to you, how can you call he/she your propriety? Did you happen to buy them? For how long you own them? When you start seeing someone as your propriety, yes, you become afraid of losing them, and the verb “to have” gives us reassurance through greediness, but then the suffering starts. But there comes the moment when you realize that yours, truly yours it’s only what you have inside of yourself. Nothing that is outside you belongs to you. It is not easy to think like that, the mind does not accept it, it says what do you mean? He is my man, she is my woman! That is where problems are born. This is the essence of jealousy, pain, and that is why jealousy attacks your bones and joints, it is such a powerful emotion that affects the body deeply. You have to come to realize that the other person can not belong to you as he/she thinks and acts for himself/herself. But this feeling of possession is what brings us pain and suffering.

I am not a talented artist, but I would like to show you this drawing that impressed me. (see video – starting at minute 7:45). A man. In the middle – its centre of gravity. If I draw a line through that centre, what is above that line has to be symmetric to what is below the line. Even here, the knowledge passed down from Antiquity manifests itself and tells us about the world above and the world on this planet. So all the laws that govern life on this planet are reflections of the Divine Laws. As above, so below. Chinese culture speaks of the 7 chakras. So, from the pelvic region, if I draw upward lines towards that median line, I form a triangle – the lower triangle. From the third eye, if I draw downward lines towards the median line, I form the superior triangle. And the space between these 2 triangles becomes a rectangle where lies the stomach and not only the stomach but the whole digestive system. Spiritual people speak of this space being similar to a metal foundry. This is where we churn all of our thoughts, that is why we feel it in our guts before a big exam or when faced with a big problem, that is why we get gastritis/peptic ulcer, because we don’t properly “digest” a situation – meaning we do not accept it. But if I turn and look, the superior triangle is the same as the inferior triangle, and what does this mean? It means that where the place of Procreation is in the lower triangle, its correspondence above is the place of Creation. So, the energy that I use for raising my body’s vibrations, turning my thoughts to Divinity, in a church, in prayer, however you want, but my vibration rises because these are thoughts of high frequency, this energy of Creation has the same force but opposite direction with the energy of Procreation. In this context, I stop seeing sexual energy as something to be ashamed of, something sinful, and something that needs to be condemned. This why the Tao lessons talk about the awakening of Kundalini when they talk about the sexual energy. Because this energy can also lead to the awakening of the Higher Conscience. So this is our body. There is nothing shameful or sinful in it, nothing to be chased away, there is only understanding to be gained. In the Bible it is said that In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. The apostle Paul says the Word became body, (Word as in Divinity), so that the body can become Word. So all I have to do is take care of this body, as I already told you, to see it as a sacred place where Divine essence exists, as our Savior told us that within 3 days He will destroy the Temple and rebuild it, while talking about His rising, from physical plane to higher planes, and referring to our physical body transforming, so this is what I also have to do. I need to change my body’s vibrations to such a level that I feel peace, tranquility, and fulfillment. I repeat, because they said the Word became body, so God gave us a body, so that the body becomes Word, meaning we return to what we once were.

While this is the situation, does fear has a place and a role still? When you know that within you, Divinity manifests itself and you know based on the Law of Attraction that you will attract this manifestation in your life; this is what the Universe will bring forth in you and for you and nothing can touch you. Or how our Saviour told us in the world but not of the world. We become part of this world through suffering, pain, unhappiness, only through lower frequency emotions. When do we feel even in the slightest better – I don’t know, maybe we did a pilgrimage, or we listened to a beautiful sermon, or we went to a monastery where we felt the energy of the Earth – we are completely different, and physical pain – headache, stomach ache, liver pain – disappears truly. Those of you who have been in this situation know that I am not exaggerating. 

 Part 2 – The fear of being a woman

To come back to what we want to solve today – the fear of being a woman. I am afraid to be a woman. I ask you, or 10 seconds, close your eyes and think about this – deep inside of you – and tell me what your body reaction is. Think and tell your body „I am afraid to be a woman”. You don’t have to push your body, because it will respond to you. Tell me, I want to know your mental and physical reaction.

Audience member 1: - I felt a lump in my throat.

Iolanda: - Okay, so your thyroid was the first to react, that means you cannot even express that. Can you say it out loud without choking?

Audience member 1: - No, I am gasping for air

Iolanda: -  So you cannot express it because this fear is too strong and too deeply rooted in you.

Audience member 2: - I feel like crying.

Iolanda:-  Crying. Good. That is okay, the time has come. A tap has been opened. It is a huge thing. Other reactions?

Audience member 3: - I am finding it hard to breathe.

Iolanda (smiles): - It’s hard to breathe, all of the sudden you feel a lack of air.

Audience member 4:- I felt like it is okay. I rejected this fear, I do yoga, I have peace and tranquility.

Iolanda: - You rejected it. I do not wish to contradict you but I believe that it is not alright to reject anything as it is part of us; our duty is to accept its existence.

Audience member 4: - No, but through introspection and meditation we make this tranquility for ourselves, and tell ourselves every day „I am without fear”. I am not afraid, and we use this as a mantra. And probably for me this feeling has become part of me, of no fear.

Iolanda: -Yes, I know you personally, and I know you do not have the fear of being a woman. This is more for our younger audience, maybe.

Part 3 – Practical exercise

So, we will start this exercise and I urge the men in the audience that while I am talking, when I use the term woman, they should replace it with the term man. It is likely, and I feel this in my body while we are talking that you did not accept truly your destiny as a man and what being a man entails. But I say man as the old knowledge tells us, having nothing to do with your physicality.

Let’s do this EFT exercise together. It is very simple. I will give you affirmations, you can whisper them, but it is important that you can say them out loud because as you saw, there is difficulty when you think about something but when you try to articulate that thought, the difficulty becomes even bigger. So I urge you to try and express yourself and to be mindful of what it is that you are saying. It doesn’t matter if you feel like crying or if you feel like you are running out of air. It will pass, I guarantee you that no one will leave here with any pain or discomfort. And we will also play with this technique, combining acupressure and mental affirmations while we are actually unlocking some energetic points and regaining our own energy that has been blocked.

Go to minute 20:45 in the video to see how to tap the lateral aspect of your left hand with the index and middle finger from your right hand and while tapping express: Although I am afraid to be a woman, I love, accept and forgive myself profoundly and completely. I am afraid to be a woman.

Go to minute 21:24 in the video to see how to tap your right temple with the index and middle finger from your right hand and while tapping express: I am afraid to be a woman and I am afraid to manifest completely my sexuality, sensuality and femininity, because I am afraid to be a woman. I admit I am afraid to be a woman.

Go to minute 21:54 in the video to see how to tap the nasal part of your right eyebrow with the index and middle finger from your right hand and while tapping express: I am afraid to be a woman and that is why I do not manifest my inner femininity at my own optimal capacity, because I am afraid to be a woman. I forgive and accept all those in my life that with knowledge or without have inspired this fear in me and blocked the feeling of femininity ever since I was a child. That is why I am afraid to be a woman.

Go to minute 22:57 in the video to see how to tap your right maxillary sinus with the index and middle finger from your right hand and while tapping express: I am afraid to be a woman but I accept, love and forgive myself, profoundly and completely. I know I do not manifest myself the way I would like to most of the time, I know that I do not express with honesty all that I feel as a woman, to my partner, I know and admit that I do not manifest as a woman all that I feel in front of society, due to fear and because I forgot how it is done. I am afraid to be a woman.

Go to minute 23:57 in the video to see how to tap your philtrum, between your nose and upper lip with the index and middle finger from your right hand and while tapping express: I admit I am afraid to be a woman and although my soul has asked for it many times, I did not manifest the desire to be sensual, I did not manifest or express my sexuality either, not when I was younger and not with my partner after years of relationship. I inhibited my femininity and sensuality in such a manner that I can realize that the beauty of femininity has been frustrating to me, I have been frustrated by the pleasure I am suppose to feel as a woman. In this way, I created suffering not only for me, but also for my life partner, due to not being honest with him, because I was afraid to be a woman.

Go to minute 25:23 in the video to see how to tap below your lower lip with the index and middle finger from your right hand and while tapping express: I was afraid to be a woman and I am afraid to manifest as one. I forgot what profound femininity means, I forgot what profound sensuality means, I forgot what native sexuality means. I identified with the social role so that I forgot that God has created me to be a woman. I am afraid to be a woman. I am afraid also of feeling vulnerable, I am afraid because I was told that the woman is weak, I am afraid because I considered that being a woman means being the weaker gender. I forgot that flexibility is actually the true power. But still, I am afraid to be a woman.

Go to minute 26:56 in the video to see how to tap just below your right shoulder with the index and middle finger from your right hand and taking deep breaths and while tapping express: I am afraid to be a woman and I am afraid to manifest myself openly as a woman. I realize that femininity exists within me, that it is a way of being, of existence, a way of joy. I did not rejoice as a woman, because I forgot I am a woman. I am afraid to be a woman.

Go to minute 27:51 in the video to see how to tap your left thumb, where the nail bed begins with the index and middle finger from your right hand and while tapping express: Although I am afraid to be a woman, I accept, love and forgive myself profoundly and completely. I admit that this means that I did not love myself, that I did not know how to love and protect what God has given me, that I did not know how to manifest this gift that God has given me, that of being a woman. Because before being a mother, a child, a sister, a grandmother or a wife, I am a woman. I take responsibility, with all my heart of my attributes as a woman and all the gifts that derive from this and I thank my spirit for helping me understand the force and the power that I have, because I was afraid to be a woman.

 Go to minute 29:41 in the video to see how to tap your left index, where the nail bed begins with the index and middle finger from your right hand and while tapping express: I was afraid to be a woman and that is why I lost a lot of joy in my life and many times I considered God to be at fault for the lack of joy, without knowing that I did not allow myself to have them because He gave them to me when He created me but I did not know how to rejoice in them. That is why I suffered as a woman. I was afraid to be a woman.

Go to minute 30:33 in the video to see how to tap your left middle finger, where the nail bed begins with the index and middle finger from your right hand and while tapping express: Although I was afraid to be a woman, I accept, love and forgive myself profoundly and completely. I promise myself and my spirit that I will strive to manifest completely all the feminine attributes that God has given to me as a gift, because they are mine. I know this is not possession but a birth right, because I am made by God and I love myself as a woman. I love myself as a woman.

Go to minute 31:41 in the video to see how to tap your left little finger, where the nail bed begins with the index and middle finger from your right hand, skipping the ring finger, we do not tap the ring finger and while tapping express: I thank the Lord because He helped me understand what a perfect creation of His I am, what potential of joy exists in me, what potential of manifesting love exists in me and here and now in a time that the Heavens support me and are open, in a time that Mercury that governs my mind supports me, I chose to manifest, to express and to live with all my heart as the woman that I am on the inside, in the way that God has created me.

Go to minute 33:06 in the video to see how to tap with four fingers from your right hand the top of your head, the place that is way of communicating with God and while tapping express: I give thanks to you, God with all my heart, with all my daughterly love, that you opened my eyes and allowed me to see myself as the beautiful creation that I am and you allowed me to see how I can access joy, that I have the right to be happy, joyful and loved. I thank you for these gifts, God and I promise that I will try and I ask you to help me do this all the time, I will try to manifest my true value, as a daughter of Yours and as a woman created by You. It is donPart 3 – Discussion and Conclusion

Iolanda: - Physical reactions of the body?

Audience member 1: - Headache.

Iolanda: - Correct. It was a lot to carry.

Audience member 2: - I feel like I am floating.

Iolanda: Great! You assimilated completely. What is the general feeling, apart from pain, tears, and breathlessness? When you think about being a woman? Is it still so rough; is it still so powerful the emotion? It will settle, it requires a few minutes, at least 10-15, so the energies that have been unlocked to settle.

Audience member 3: - There have been so many positive energies circulating, everybody has been yawning, it is clear there has been release!

Iolanda (smiles): – Yes, now you have so much energy, you will be moving the refrigerator and the stove and clean the whole place.

     I wanted this to be a gift for the start of March, for women, so they can remember more than just parties for 8 of March, and stop forgetting what it symbolizes: our femininity and our rebirth in spring. The number 8 spiritually means transformation, death by two times, 4 by 2 equals 8, so it is our transformation, our remembrance, from our social role to our Divine self. The moment has to come when we will remember more often that we are women, not just physically, not just in looks, because this is not femininity. Femininity doesn’t mean your weight, your hair color, or if our hair is nicely done, it is an inner way of being, of feeling. And any man will tell you that he is more attracted to a less beautiful woman but a more warm and kind one, than he is attracted of physical beauty that has no light and warmth inside.

      I thank you for today.